Divorce is difficult and complicated but you can overcome it. There are many factors that play into how well you and your family will do after the divorce. The good news is that no matter what your situation looks like right now, there are ways to survive a divorce as a stay-at-home mom (or dad). Here are some tips for putting yourself back together after your life falls apart:
Get a job
In order to survive a divorce, you will need to work. There are many stay at home mom jobs to consider. It may be a full-time job or part-time, but it is important that you find something that allows you the flexibility to pick up your kids from school or daycare. If they are in school all day, then look for babysitting opportunities at night or on weekends.
There are many benefits of having a job outside of working and making money. First and foremost, having some type of structure will help keep your mind off all the negative feelings that come with divorce. You can also use this time as an opportunity to learn new skills and build your network – which could lead to other job opportunities down the road.
Strengthen your support network
Now that you have a better understanding of what to expect during this time, it is important to have a support network in place. Your friends and family will be there for you as well as online communities, if necessary. If you are not able to find enough support from your current network then it may be time to make some new connections with people who understand what being separated from your children means.
You can seek professional help through a family law specialist when legally dealing with the divorce process. You can also seek advice from counselling or coaching with someone who has been through divorce themselves and understands how overwhelming life can become without the help of others around us.
It is important to establish a plan for yourself that includes both short and long-term goals. For example, if you are interested in re-entering the workforce or pursuing higher education, it is not enough to simply wish that this will happen one day. You need to define your objectives and create a step-by-step plan on how you will achieve them. This process can be challenging but it can help keep you motivated during difficult times.
Also, having a written list of your goals will make sure that they stay at the forefront of your mind during this difficult period of transition from homemaker to career woman (or man). Keep these lists where they are visible so they don’t get buried under piles of laundry or bills – somewhere like on top of the refrigerator works well.
Embrace the new normal
The first step to surviving a divorce as a stay-at-home mom is to understand that your new normal will be different. You will have more time for yourself, more time with your children, and most importantly, more time to focus on yourself.
You may want to consider pursuing a career or passion that you had put on hold while raising your family. Alternatively, you can use this newfound freedom to focus on any other interests that were neglected during your marriage including cooking lessons, travelling abroad, volunteering at the local soup kitchen, and reading books. Do what makes you happy.
Be gentle with yourself
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, guilty and happy even if those emotions contradict one another. It’s also okay to feel scared and confused. The key is not pretending those emotions don’t exist because they do—and you’re allowed to be in them without shame or guilt. This will help protect yourself from being caught up in the drama of someone else’s world when yours is falling apart around you.
Consider relocating if you need to make a fresh start
Moving is a big step and you should consider all the factors before doing it. If you decide to make a fresh start, make sure that there’s a good support network around you, such as friends and family. You may also want to consider relocating to another city or state if your current one doesn’t feel like home anymore.
Moving can be stressful and disruptive for everyone involved in the process (including children), so if possible it’s best done when both parents are in agreement about wanting out of their current situation. If not, keep your mind open about what might be best for your children, even if this means trying out different cities or states over the course of several years until finding the right fit for everyone involved.
Divorce is hard, but you will get through it
Divorce is a difficult process. It is not a failure, and it does not reflect on your value as a person or your parenting skills. You are still the same person that you were before the divorce began, only now you have to go through this stressful journey where both you and your ex-partner have new lives. This will be hard, but if you keep moving forward in life while trying to maintain contact with your children and ex-partner then things will get better over time.
If you’ve been a stay at home mom through your marriage, then divorce can be a challenging time. It’s important to remember that this is not your fault, and there are many resources available to help you through it. The most important thing is to know what’s best for your situation and make sure that you’re taking care of yourself in the process of going through this transition.
About the Author
Caroline is a writer with years of experience in business administration. She is passionate about travelling, exploring new places and cultures, and learning new languages. Find Caroline on Twitter @BCarolinebird12.