Feeling worthless, whether in business or private life, can hamper your ability to shine. When we don’t perceive ourselves as worthy, we tend to self-sabotage and not seek (or demand) what we deserve.
The premise is simple. Even if your value increases or decreases by a few degrees, or if you experience drastic changes over time, you will eventually return to the state in which the internal success thermostat is set. This raises the question, “What can I do to increase my value (feel more worth)?”
PROVIDE VALUE AND FEEL VALUABLE
The first and best way to increase your value (feel more worth) is simply to provide value to others. Be kind to others and to your future. It means providing value without expecting anything in return. It includes the requirements you provide unconditionally. As my friend Bob Procter said, giving in anticipation is a trade, not an actual give.
To get it, it’s important to have both focus and intent on what we want. And it is difficult to express what you want without serving others. Providing value by serving creates a void that the universe will fill for you.
Not only does it feel good to give, but this altruistic act is contagious. The giver becomes happy, the receiver becomes happy, and the beholder becomes happy.
KEEP YOUR PROMISES
Part of service is keeping promises to yourself as well as to others. Living by your promises earns trust from others and builds confidence in yourself, which leads to a better view of your worth. Experience a higher success rate as you set achievable goals and plan to achieve them, while turning on valuable thermostats. Setting goals (and keeping promises) is necessary for consistent and sustained behavior. Then you can enjoy pursuing your potential by setting and achieving goals.
To demonstrate this idea, one of my favorite examples is with exercise. Many people want to immediately “go all-in” on a new exercise regimen. I take an alternative approach. I initially set the bar very low.
The first day I started working out, I promised myself I would wear sneakers. That was it. But on the first day, not only did I wear all my gear; I actually did 30 minutes of cardio and stretching. I felt good later.
ACCOUNTABILITY MEANS KNOWING YOU’RE WORTHY
Living with Accountability is another way to boost your self-esteem. Accountability gives you authority or control over everything in life. Accountability means Specific criteria or condition of accountability: responsibility or willingness to accept responsibility or be held accountable for one’s actions by a public official who does not have accountability. Rather, use every challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Responsible people ask themselves two questions when these problems arise.
- What did I do to be attracted to myself?
- What should I learn from it?
People’s tendency to go “down the line” stems from the urge to defend their ego. But in reality they are evading responsibility. Going below the line is a surefire way to lower the thermostat.
If possible, invite others to take responsibility. Ask your spouse, co-workers or coaches to make sure you are on the right track to reaching your goals.
RAISE YOUR THERMOSTAT
To continually improve your personality and raise the thermostat of your values, embrace the principle of service, keep your promises to yourself and others, and set realistic goals that you can achieve but raise the bar. Finally, take responsibility and take responsibility for your own life by living beyond the lines of blame, shame, and justification.
These strategies are worth the time if you want to increase your value (feel more worth), feel that you are worthwhile, and attract great things that are coming up consistently, consistently, and quickly.